Meditation Secrets Revealed

I am frequently asked by people for advice regarding their personal and professional lives and I usually start with questions such as, “What happens in your mind? What do you see, hear, feel, and think?” It is shocking how few people are able to answer these relatively straightforward questions, yet the answers are the key to overcoming many people’s challenges. The good news is that it is fairly easy to develop this self awareness.

A simple, yet powerful, meditation technique is to create a silent watcher over your own mind. Its a simple practice that you can begin to develop into a daily habit. Take a small part of your attention and assign this part the task of watching everything that flutters through your mind. Imagine this part as a video camera that records everything, to be stored and analyzed almost immediately after it occurs. Stop reading for a few brief moments, and try this RIGHT NOW! As you begin to develop this ability, you can notice thoughts, stories, narratives, emotions, reactions, and many other processes going on in your mind. By watching and then analyzing yourself at all times, in all situations, you can discover what kinds of thoughts are going through your mind, which will quickly bring realizations and epiphanies about your own beliefs, motivations, actions, and reactions.

The only way a fish can understand water is by getting onto the shore, and looking back down into the water. You are the fish and the water represents your thoughts. In order to understand, analyze, and ultimately steer your mind, you first need to watch yourself from the outside, as a passive observer. At first, this may seem to be strange, or daunting as the self now how has to pay attention to the self, but it quickly becomes second nature. I want to make it very clear that the watcher or observer must not participate or be in any way involved in what is going on in the mind. This means that it should not make comments or judgments on what is seen, but simply observe passively and report, similar to a surveillance camera.

Be patient and do not become discouraged if you forget or become distracted, this is completely natural. Keep with it, and in time you will develop the ability to keep mental track of the chaotic landscape of the mind without becoming distracted from daily activities. If I could recommend any one meditation technique in the world, this would be it. It is crucial key to opening the door to self awareness, personal growth, stress management, mental clarity, and peace of mind.

My grandfather is one of the happiest men I know. He is 87 year old with failing hearing, loss of eyesight, no teeth, frequent migraine headaches, and yet, he is always there, greeting me with a grin and a smile. I wonder, what it is that makes him enjoy life so much while others at his age, and even much younger, are completely depressed, somber, bitter, and so on. I know that when I hear that slow rhythmic soldier shuffle of a walk, I can count on him being in a good mood, ready to hear about my life and eager to tell me about his own. Positive thinking perhaps? Maybe he is the type of person that always sees the glass half full.

I think it is more than that. He tells many stories and they frequently highlight just how lucky his life has been. When he thinks back on his life, he dwells on the challenges he overcame, on the creative solutions, on the relationships he has built and the amazing people he has met. As we sit in the backyard and gaze out over the lush suburban landscape, I hear him say, “Isn’t this wonderful, look at how beautiful this is.” In those moments, he emits a pure feeling of gratitude and appreciation for what he has. It is completely out of his control, he accepts it, and is grateful. He is always present in the moment, still sharp of mind, and quick of wit. I love, admire, and respect my grandfather, he has mastered the art of joy.

For those of you that earn for bullet points here are the take-away lessons from Grandpa:

1. Be present in the moment

2. Appreciate what you have, even if its outside of your control

3. When dwelling on the past, think about your accomplishments, not the failures.

USA Today Article: June 8, 2008

This article just barely touches on all the research that has been done in the last 30 years to prove that meditation and mindfulness can create huge psychological and even physiological changes. In fact prayer and meditation are very similar but the main difference is that one the former is intricately associated with a religion practice while the latter is a technique. Meditation is a skill, just like riding a bicycle or learning to drive a car. One does not have to be spiritual or religious in any way shape or form to practice meditation or mindfulness. In fact, the same can be said for prayer. People frequently get confused by this because these techniques come from religious traditions of Buddhism and Hinduism, but they can be separated out. I personally practice meditation daily and love yoga but do not have any interest in Buddhism or Hinduism. Is this wrong? Would any Buddhist hold this against me? I doubt it.

Despite a growing pile of Western and Eastern scientific research about these practices, there is still a lot of misconception and narrow minded thinking, especially among scientists. The Dali Lama recently spoke at a neuroscience conference about conducting more research on meditation to help people deal with stress and better control their moods and as a response to his invitation, over 500 scientist signed a petition to try and stop him from speaking there. Their reason; don’t want religion mixed in with science. What rubbish! Like helping people deal with stress and gain greater emotional control is such a terrible thing. If there is one thing that we can all learn from the great religions of the world it is to have more compassion, kindness, and love. I think that everyone could use a bit more of these qualities, no matter what religion or belief system they ascribe to.

One of the simplest ways to begin learning meditation is to watch your breath. This meditation technique is perfect for beginners because it is natural, easy, and can be done anywhere and anytime. Begin by paying attention to the breath as it leaves and enters your lungs.

Take notice of any bodily sensations, thoughts, or feelings. At first, start with five inhalations and five exhalations, counting slowly and taking deep regular breaths. Make sure that you are paying full attention and giving all of your focus to the breath. If you find yourself getting distracted, do not worry or get agitated, this is a natural part of the practice. When this happens, gently bring your attention back to the breath and begin again. Once you are able to maintain a steady focus and count five breaths without becoming distracted, you can increase the number of inhalations and exhalations.

Take note of the moments when you become distracted, there you will find the greatest lessons and realizations and I always try to think of those moments as reminders and helpful reminders instead of failures. To use the metaphor of driving a car, if you momentarily drift off the road, you simply take control of the steering wheel and bring the car back to the center of the road. It is exactly the same with this meditation technique. Watching and counting the breath can be done frequently and in short bursts, and you may find that even a five count will dramatically reduce stress and anxiety while calming, clearing, and centering the mind. As with any skill, the amount of time and length of practice will determine the benefit and mastery.

The only way a fish can understand water is by getting onto the shore, and looking back down into the water. We are the fish and the water represents our thoughts. In order to understand, analyze, and ultimately steer our mind, we first need to watch ourselves from the outside, as a passive observer. At first, this may seem to be strange, or daunting as the self now how has to pay attention to the self. Be patient and keep with it, in only a short time it is possible to develop the ability to keep mental track of the chaotic landscape of the mind without becoming distracted from daily activities.

The watcher or observer must not participate or be in any way involved in what is going on in the mind. This means that it should not make comments or judgments on what is seen, but simply observe passively and report, similar to a surveillance camera.

Quite often, our thoughts and memories play tricks on us. When we think of a situation that has occurred, it is generally the same no matter how many times we run through it in our mind. Now, try taking a walk in a familiar place. One of the things you will notice is that it is not the same as you remember it. The world has changed, and it is constantly changing. Being present in the moment forces awareness of your surroundings and the ever-changing world. It is a well known fact from neuro-science that your eyes only capture a partial impression of the external reality. The rest of what you perceive to be reality is actually filled in by your mind. To have a fresh perspective and to see without assuming and expecting is the goal of being present in the moment.

Take notice of these changes and become aware of the liquidity of life. This new awareness can inspire you to become more flexible and pliable in all aspects of your life. Born, we are soft and supple, dead we are hard and stiff. Movement and change is the way of life, rigidity and stiffness is the way of death. To be present, truly present, is a joy that is beyond words. Once you become aware that you are living a real moment, a unique moment given specifically to you, no matter what it is, you can appreciate it and be grateful for being alive. Be grateful that you are having this breath, having this food, having this ache, because it’s the only one like it that you will ever have.

The realization that my mind and my thinking dictate how I perceive the world made me ask many questions of myself that never had occurred to me previously. I started with seemingly simple questions such as, “Why do I think the way I do? What makes me act or react in this way? Why do I keep thinking about this topic even though that event occurred long ago?” These questions and the answers that I uncovered became a major part of my self-exploration and I quickly realized that they were not so easy to answer. After many years of asking, questioning, observing, studying, and analyzing, my conclusion is that the mind is a filter. It determines whether something is good, bad, happy, or sad. Painful or pleasurable is all in the mind if one examines the thought process. There are a number of ways to illustrate what I mean here, but I will start with an analogy.

Think of the mind as a wonderful tool. It was given to us at birth, we had no choice in the matter, but how we learn to use that tool makes all the difference in our lives. Since birth, the mind has been shaped by many external factors, and with every experience new pathways and connections of thinking were forged and old ones reinforced. What is remarkable is that nobody told us how to use that tool, it just evolved, learned, and adapted – there is no manual or how to guide.

In my own quest for understanding I have developed and learned many meditation techniques. You can find them under the topics tab here.